Beware the Gombletromp – Bad Poetry Day August 18

It’s Bad Poetry Day! My Goof and I decided to try our hand at some bad poetry. We came up with the epic poem, “Beware the Gombletromp!” It’s a tale of fear, adventure, and the smell of yeast. We hope you will enjoy it!

Beware the Gombletromp!!

The Gombletromp is a mythical beast
With hair of wire and a smell of yeast
It carries fungus between its toes
and where it comes from, nobody knows.

The rumor mill is very clear
About this beast there’s much to fear
So put away your books on their shelves
And listen while the people tell you themselves:

One lass from down in Silverpool
Tells of the creature’s disgusting drool
It got all over her ball and bat
and melted them both and that was that

The gossips agree – it’s a well known fact
This beast’s behavior is proof that he’s cracked
His roars and his bellows can split the night air
And he’s been known to cheat at Solitaire.

And then that chap named Dustin Berry
Told us about the girl he hoped to marry
But one night, he said, the Gombletromp came round
and swept his lady’s feet right off the ground

It might seem strange that she’d choose that fate
But“, Dustin says, “she’s been adventurous of late.”
He added, “She always liked those hairy chaps.
So maybe she found her true love. Perhaps.

The Gombletromp loves children, it’s true.
If they’re properly seasoned and served in a roux.
He’ll roast them or fry them or have them parboiled.
But he won’t eat your children if he sees that they’re spoiled.

And then there’s the old widow, Agnes Bogg
Who claims that the Gombletromp shaved her dog.
But the vet insisted that the dog has mange
and agreed that old widow Bogg is incredibly strange.

This beast can’t do math or use a tool.
This is because he dropped out of school.
Now he squanders his days hunting prey, large and small.
Sometimes in the woods, sometimes at the mall.

Whatever you may believe about the Gombletromp
The tales people tell make for a fine romp
If you’re rude and you’re nasty and dangerous, too.
It could be the Gombletromp is YOU!

If you like our epic bad poem, we’d love it if you’d share it on Facebook! If you’ve written a bad poem of your own, we’d love to read it in the comments below!

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